When should you cut ties with a twin flame?

If they…

are married or in a relationship- no matter how bad or close they are to breaking it off
addicted to anything – alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling, shopping, etc
your list of the kind of partner you want, doesn’t match that of your twin flame
won’t commit to you (too busy with work, school, life)
have an unmanaged mental disorder
are verbally or mentally abusive to you or anyone else
aren’t sure they can handle a relationship with you
depend on you for money or happiness
don’t have a job or can’t support themselves as a normal, responsible adult
can’t make you a priority
are in prison or anyway physically unavailable
are emotionally unavailable (when you express emotions they don’t understand or are too deep, they start a fight or pull away or laugh it off)
make excuses why they can’t meet in person
repeatedly ghosting you

You should definitely cut ties if they have any combo of the above or if you have given them two tries and they have let you down each time. (Some progress is still letting you down.)

Why it is so hard to break up with a twin flame?

The problem with twin flames is that you instantly unconditionally love them. This sets you up for letting them get away with things that you normally wouldn’t let a partner get away with. Earning trust, respect, and love is especially important for men.

It can be very blissful and amazing to be with a twin flame even if it isn’t in ideal circumstances or even just for a tiny bit of time.

However, there is also great pain knowing that someone who you want to be with so badly is not giving you their fullest attention, or best self, hurts you, or makes you cry. When you break up with them you feel all the pain and not even a little fleeting blissfulness.

It’s painful no matter what you do. We often go back to the twin flame when we realize this. We are happier to take a few crumbs of love and happiness then none at all. At some point we can’t take it anymore and a cycle starts of breaking up and making up.

Basically we have only given ourselves two options. Together and sometimes happy/loved and miserable, or apart and just plain miserable.

The third option..

We think in if, then statements.

If he would just (commit, stop drinking, get a divorce, move closer, etc), then I can live happily ever after.

We focus only on the twin flame and what they are doing wrong. We can clearly see how their choices are making us and them miserable. We see them as the source of all our happiness and the source of all our pain.

What if we stopped and thought of a third option. We clearly see that they are blocking the relationship, the love, the connectedness, and the ultimate joy. You can feel this with another person in this life time. It’s a mistake to think that one person is in control of our future happiness, family, or chance at marriage.

What if we take a step back and see how us focusing on how they are blocking our happiness is actually blocking our happiness. We are making ourselves miserable.

We see them as stuck, stubborn, selfish, unenlightened/unawake, playing it safe, commitment phobe, and set on making their life difficult. When it is actually only ourselves being and doing these things..

Remember twin flames are our mirrors. So whatever our major complaint about them is… it is what we are also doing. Think hard about how you are behaving like that in your life. Are you stubbornly waiting for them to change, are you selfish by focusing all your time and energy on getting your twin flame to stick around while you neglect yourself, your kids, your career? Are you not committing to other available partners, jobs, a fun life, etc because you are waiting for your twin flame to shape up? Are you mad because your twin flame won’t leave his wife so you two can be happy? Maybe you are doing the same thing by not leaving your twin flame so you can find true happiness with an available man. You’ve committed yourself to someone who makes you miserable.

How do I break it off with a twin flame?

Physical - if you go no contact - you have to sit on your hands and find things to distract you.
Mental - mindfulness - you have to cut down the time you think about them little by little, start getting aback control of your space
Emotional - psychology work, inner child work (see below), self love work, parts work (part of me can’t be with him, part of me can’t let go. there could be an unloved part of you that is not letting you pull the cord), see a therapist, get coaching, etc
Energetic - must move old energy from your body. Send loving energy to them. use their energy to help heal you
Spiritual - meet their higher self in the spirit world and get the answers that you need, pull out or rearrange cords
My coaching and hypnosis work addresses all these levels. And clients make the most progress with a mix of all these as twin flames are a very complex issues.

Basically work on yourself and the attraction will fade because you move to a different frequency and the parts of you holding on to the connection will drop the cords.

So how about focusing on ourselves and seeing where we are stubborn and stuck. We can reconnect with a forgotten inner child. We can go back in time in a past life hypnosis to see where some of major life themes come from. We can find those places of shame we all carry and bring them to the light to love them. We can work on ourselves to become more loving. When you need more love in your life, you need to start giving out love. Gabrielle Bernstein says to start “dating” everyone – coworkers, family members, kids, and friends. We might find that we get more love back, then our non-committal twin flame can give us.

Set boundaries. You will need to tell your twin flame that you are leaving them. Tell them how hard you tried, that you love them, you wish them the best, etc. Ask them to help you by not letting you back in their life if you ever have a weak moment and want to come back. Tell them you want them to be comfortable and clearly a life with you would not be comfortable. Tell them about the life you envisioned and that you can’t see that life with them by the way they are acting at this moment. You only want the best in your life.

Continue investing in yourself. Mend broken relationships, forgive those who need forgiving, find out your purpose and passion in life, get friends you really like, find your passions, get healthy mentally and physically, go on retreats, get therapy, and challenge yourself. Grow as a person. Hire a life coach, career coach or therapist. Heal.

Little by little your life will fill up and you won’t have time to dwell on all the pain of “losing” a twin flame. The nights will still be hard but you will get through.

How do I get over a twin flame break up?

It sucks, you probably won't ever truly get over it, but at some point you are an adult and adults do adult things like moving on. Time doesn't really help in these scenarios, but I can tell you 8 years out I don’t think about my twin anymore. I appreciate that time, but we had mostly a spiritual connection, that I was starving in the real world. Now that I’ve had plenty of deep soul level experiences, I wouldn’t go back to just a soul love. I want human and soul love.

Research and understand twin flame relationships so you know you aren’t going crazy. Give up the fact that you will be physically together in this life time. Know they will always be there for you, but only spiritually.

What you crave in your twin is what you need to find within yourself.

The parts of you that need your love are the ones that hold to the unhealthy twin flame dynamic.

You can explore hypnosis and past life regression. You need spiritual healing for spiritual wounds and problems. Therapy alone might not do the trick for a twin flame relationship.

I got over mine and I know you can get over yours too. There is real, healing, exciting love out there for you!

If you need help, I’m here for you. I’ve helped hundreds of people ease the pain of their twin flame connection and finally find a connection with themselves that is deeply healing.

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