This is a guest blog post from Coach Deborah Newton. Notice the stages of her twin flame relationship and how she worked with all the voices in her head (parts of her) that had differing feelings towards her twin flame. These parts eventually lead to her healing her twin flame pain and finding love.

When I was with my twin flame, I had such a strong sense that we were absolutely meant to be together.

The connection was so strong, it felt on a higher, spiritual level. When we first met, it was like we had known each other for years.

On my first day in his house, I knew things about all the rooms before I had even entered them.

My twin flame and I could sense each other's emotions or feelings when we weren't in each other's company.

We would always text or call each other at the same time, and when we did speak on the phone, hours would go by - there was such a strong pull for connection.

He was my best friend, my lover, my soulmate.

Together, we were a formidable force - our connection and love seemed to reflect back into the universe. Our combined energy was magnetic, to the point other people would comment on how great we were together and how they wanted to find love like ours.

My sense and belief that we were destined to be together was strong and dominant. There was little room for any other beliefs at that time.

Even when periodically, my twin flame would back away and tell me he wasn't ready for commitment. He would pull away for a time but then he would come back to me, unable to resist our connection.

I went travelling solo around Asia for 3 months - something I had planned to do before I met him. He finally told me he loved me while I was gone.

I spent a lot of my travelling daydreaming about him, my heart felt like there was a cord tied to his heart. He was with me in my dreams, he was with me when I very nearly fell down a mountainside in the Himalayas, he was with me on the Indonesian beaches, in the Myanmar hills, by the Ganges.

He told me just before he was due to join me on my travels that he had been "seeing someone else" while I was away. I felt sick, like I had been punched in the stomach. Suddenly my strong sense that we were meant to be together was fragile.

Some doubts and confusion emerged.

I had a part of me that was angry and felt I had been fooled. Another part was rationalising it, making excuses for him. And beneath all that, I had a wounded part that felt vulnerable, scared and in pain. My twin flame still wanted to join me on my travels. I didn't know which part of me to listen to.

To cut a long story short, we continued our twin flame dance of on-off, love without commitment, happiness and pain for another ten months.

In the end, we made a mutual and extremely painful decision to cut the cord.

I moved out and went my own way.

The ignored part of me that had felt vulnerable and scared at times throughout my twin flame relationship was now out in full force. She needed serious attention. I worked with a wonderful coach who encouraged me to treat this wounded part of me like I was looking after a little child.

Every day, I was tasked with loving her, caring for her, giving her attention and listening to her needs. And once a day I would do something special for my inner child. She and I would go off to a church where there was classical music playing, we sunbathed and read an uplifting book, we took a bath, watched movies, made smoothies, got a massage, played the piano. And I sat with her while she wailed and wept from the anguish of missing my TF.

Slowly, slowly, my wounded child no longer felt overwhelmingly in pain.

She was still hurt and vulnerable but it no longer felt like my entire internal system was drowning with grief and heart-ache.

After a period of time, I met up with my twin flame. Our love and connection was still there but with some maturity added to it. We managed to tear ourselves away from each other at the end of the day but I remember saying to myself that night, my TF and I would end up together in 10 years' time, and that was fine. That never came to be.

6 years on, I am married with a daughter. My husband isn't a twin flame but he is so much more than my twin flame was, and for sure he is my soulmate.

I love him on a deep level but without vulnerability and fear.

My inner child feels nurtured by me, and has no fears about our relationship ending.

With hindsight, I can now understand that the part of me that felt my relationship with my TF was divine, perfect, steadfast and infinite was just that - a part of me. That part of me really felt all those things. But by listening purely to that part, I had ignored or not realised that I had other parts which were sounding alarm bells, feeling uncomfortable or doubtful about my TF relationship.

I have no regrets about my twin flame experience.

I have learnt to listen and attend to the different parts of me, developing a deeper connection with myself and my inner child. At the end of the day, we need to be able to give ourselves, including our inner children, love and support. Then we are in a better place to attract our life-partner and true soul-mate. 555 1111 444 2222